Happiness and the donkey.

If it is just making your life miserable, 

that is not something worth hanging on to. 

I have not lived long enough to know everything about life.
But I do think I know what I am worth and what makes me happy.

There are times and places where you want to be yourself but it is just difficult.
No matter that is about a relationship or a job or a school or a situation that you are in.

I moved to Australia to get away from a situation where I was not treated well and unhappy.

Since I moved and back here, I have been doing my best to become happy and be in a healthy environment. Recently, the situation I am in  has been pushed back to what it was like: negative  and miserable. The other day I had an epiphany. "I do not deserve to be treated like this!"

One doctor of mine has taught me an idiom.

Khar Plaar Kaa
Kaar Ravaan Kaa

It means, when you try and push the donkey to do something they will not move but you just simply leave the donkey alone and go your own way.

When you are in a bad and sad situation where you are not happy and do not deserve it, do not hang on to it. Just do what you have to do and move on. That can be just doing what you have to do or removing yourself from that situation.

I hope the world will become a better place for everyone.

See you soon!

Buffering: Book Review

I am not sure how to write a book review but I am just going to do my best.

This book(buffering) is the first autobiography(?) that I read and also finished in about a day.

While I enjoyed reading this book, it and made me think about lot of things.
Family, relationships, friends, mental illness, LGBTQ+, and everything about life...

I am a subscriber to Hannah's youtube Channel for about 4-5 years. I came across her while I was going though my youtube "recommendations" and also seen some videos with British youtubers collaborate with her. I really enjoyed her content and how she was all ways smiling and having fun with what she does.　

I think it was when I was listening to one of Rhett and Link's Ear biscuits podcast episodes that Hannah talked about her family and mentioned her Study abroad to Japan was some how a shock and made me feel close and felt a connection even though I have never met her her before. 

"I have something in common! Japanese!" Then I realised that her YouTube channel was literary "Hart" in Japanese. (ハート)

I was curious, I am a curious person and I wanted to know who she is. 

literally I am writing this after I have finished reading and I am having problems to comprehend. 

Some Key worlds I got out of it.

No matter what, you are not alone: different circumstance but we have people around

"depression isn't about tying to run away from the feeling; it's about learning to walk along side it"(p72)

To Hannah,

I would love to meet you and talk about many things. but most of all, want to give you a big hug.


I hope I can meet books like this that have an positive influence to me. 

The Mystery Parcels (Part 2)

Now it's time to tell you about the next day I got the first mystery parcel.

I woke up from the my mother knocking on my bed room door early in the morning(at least for me).
Mum had a parcel in her hand and handed it to me. I jumped awake and want up to the kitchen to open it as soon as possible so see what, what kind of book was inside. 

I opened it. The parcel had 'Cinder', the first for the Lunar chronicles!

Then I checked the receipt/order details and again it was from the US. At this point I had a more clear idea who it was from. I just need to conform it some how.

I checked my post on facebook, and there was another clue that pretty much conformed who it was from.

It was from my friend Rebecca!!

I opened messenger to write a thank you email and there was a message earlier in the month (that I have clearly forgotten about until then) when she asked for my address which is common for us because we some times write to each other.

I met Rebecca at university. She was doing her year abroad at my university. I have also lived together with for a short while when I was going through some tough times. But the time I spent with her was a positive thing for me. We talked about books, movies, culture, life and many things.

Our interests cross over at places and we have very different interests in some things.
Which is really good because we tend to introduce new things to each other and then talk about them and experience a broad range of things. I might write a blog post about us but I simply I miss her.

Rebecca is really good at writing and she loves reading. She actually has a blog called:
"The Lonely Reader" about books she enjoy and reads you can click here to go to her blog!

I have learned one thing about myself from these two mystery parcels.
I really like surprises but on the other hand I have this 'instinct' or 'ability' to notice signs(not always but most of the time).
But in this case, this surprise was a success and I did not notice a thing!

I hope you liked my story about the mystery parcels.

See you soon!
Ellen
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Instagram: @ellenkoala

  

The Mystery Parcels (Part 1)

I know it is a little late but...

Merry Christmas!!

and

Happy New year!!

This story was a few days after Christmas, I came home from the city. I said "Hello" to my mother in the kitchen and walked towards my room to drop my bags. On the way, I saw this white parcel placed on the side table(where we put our mail)before I reach the stairs. I was curious and had a look who it was addressed to.

It was addressed to ME! Yey! REALLY?! Is this really happening??

Wait, who is this from?

I looked all around the parcel to see who was it from but there were no names that I recognized. Only the company that it was sent from.

I wonder who is this from? I have not ordered anything online that I know of.

I went back to the kitchen and I said to my mum with excitement "I have a parcel! But I have not ordered anything online".  Mum replied to me saying, "We(My mother and my aunt) were wondering if you have ordered something. You might know who it is from after you open it".

So, I opened it. I knew it was a book in it because it felt like a book when I held it in my hand.

It was "Carry On" written by Rainbow Rowell inside!

I have been meaning to read it after reading "FanGirl" from the same author this year in English but I did not have a copy of it yet.
I was happy that I got a book that is on my 'To-read reading list' and I love getting books as a gift!!!

But there was still a mystery... Who is this book/Christmas present from?

There were few clues.

The Stamp/return shipment details: It said to return to a Australian address.
The Company address: It said it was based in the United Kingdom.
The receipt/order details: The order was payed in US dollars.

This made things confusing, but I have figured that it was from a friend of mine from the US that knows my address.

I had a feeling I knew who it was in the back of my mind but I could not be sure so I posed on Facebook to test the air, To make sure that Who I am thinking is really the person who sent this book for me for Christmas.

To be continued... ;)
Ellen
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Instagram: @ellenkoala